SEVENTIETH BIRTHDAY
22 Nov 2023
I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else.
THE ST. LOUIS HARBOR-BOAT “MARK TWAIN”
21 Nov 2023
And, in the first place, I wish to thank the Countess de Rochambeau for the honor she has done me in presiding at this christening.
I feel exceedingly surreptitious
20 Nov 2023
I never intend to stand up on a platform any more—unless by the request of a sheriff or something like that.
ABOUT LONDON
19 Nov 2023
People here seem always to express distances by parables.
AMERICANS AND THE ENGLISH
18 Nov 2023
I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.
INDEPENDENCE DAY
17 Nov 2023
Sir Mortimer Durand, too, has had trouble from going to a dinner here, and he has told you what he suffered in consequence.
THE DAY WE CELEBRATE
16 Nov 2023
The result was that the whole afternoon I was under the influence of his clerical hat and could not tell a lie.
WHEN IN DOUBT, TELL THE TRUTH
15 Nov 2023
I was so relieved when judge Leventritt did find something that was not taxable—when he said that the commissioner could not tax your patience.
GENERAL MILES AND THE DOG
13 Nov 2023
I had been telling his life history by mistake.